hey guys, some advice?
a very good friend of mine is quitting drinking cold turkey. i wanna be supportive of him. what can he do to keep him focused on this goal?

possibly some other thing he can do. like they say to stop smoking, eat carrots to keep your mouth focused on something positive... any advice? anyone?

i know he'll be sick, real sick. i'm kinda glad he's doing it though. he's just had enough. he's great at handling his liqour, responsible about it too in that he won' drive when he's had too much, but it's just the fact that he had been having it every day... and not just beer, he'd drink the hard stuff... every day... it never affected his work, or his life... but the health risks are catastrophic...

it makes it harder cuz of his roommate, he constantly makes him margaritas and stuff with twice the alcohol it should have.  he didn't originally wanna move in with this guy, but he wasn't approved to get his own place ((it was gonna be so great too )).  he thought things would be okay until all the margaritas, and bourbons, and vodkas... the guy likes his alcohol...

Happy Days are Here Again!!  3.12.06
Currently Listening
Catching Tales
By Jamie Cullum
Hi y'all !!  Not much to write since I last wrote. 
I now work 4 days a week for Susana Labs (10 hrs) and 5 days for CHL (40 hrs).  I got paid Friday from CHL and was supposed to get paid Saturday from Susana... but "T" wasn't there.  I'll tell her Tuesday so hopefully I can get my fair share... 
"C.S." and I hung out Wednesday night and Friday night... we'll meet up again tomorrow night (that would be Monday).  Things are well.  He calls more often and tries to hang out.  Our visits are more frequent... which is real nice.
I interviewed at InfRes twice now.  I'm waiting for the call-back from HR for my background check.  No worries there... just the "pain & agony" of waiting...
No word on the "moving" situation.  My sis doesn't know yet... it's just a possible option.  She wanted to keep me updated so her possible move wouldn't be such a shock, if it ever happened. 
So for now, life's normal.  I'm working my butt off & being under-paid at 2 different jobs & having a pretty active social life.

Hmm, Flu =(   3.15.06
Things are good otherwise.
I'm up to 5 days at Susana Labs (when I'm not sick).
I see CS almost every other day... very cool!
Nothing new from InfoRes or ATK (both places I've interviewed for)
That's everything

i got an owie on my finger...             ...and a boo-boo on my thumb  3.19.06
Okay... so... more details...
I work 5 days a week at both jobs now... Mon-Fri @ one and Tues-Sat @ the other... "T seems to be very happy with me.  A lot of her other employees have totally backed out.  Some either just stopped showing up, or some took "personal" time off without regard to responsibility.  I know it's not a CEO type job at all... but it is a job and deserves some respect after all.  "T" tries to fill the schedule so the work can get down.  If someone doesn't show up, that's makes it hard on everyone else that does show up.  One girl every requested for her hours to be kept, but she won't be back for another month and a half, maybe 2 months. 
I'm learning most of the dogs names pretty quickly, but still get confused... there are a lot of blonds and chocolates and blacks... and they are all grouped together by color, so it makes it a little difficult.  One of the full-timers is telling me little things about each.  red ball fiend, blond ball fiend, rat tail, nasty scar... totally helps... there's a blond "shadow".  tall black "shadow", short black "shadow", chubby white, chubby chocolate, chubby black, curly black, lazy black... with 36 dogs (& 7 puppies) ya gotta look for "clues". 
In a few weeks, the newbies will come outside and there will be more work.  cleaning poopie trays, more food, more water, more names.   I'm trying to remember the other 36 now, so the new puppies and mommies will be easier... otherwise I'd have 39 dogs and lotsa puppy names to remember. 
One puppy already has a home.  One of the girls I work with is saving up money so she'll hopefully have enough by the time the puppy is weaned from it's mommy.  She said it's a white blond female.  With her pay, (by not paying any bills and strictly saving it all) it would take a month.  the pup isn't walking yet, and can't go home until she's 8 weeks anyway... so she has some time still. 
So today is my only day off... I've been busy however... cleaning my mousy cage... cleaning my doggies' ears, picking up doggie poop... my life ain't much different from work I guess... still gotta do laundry.  I work 5 days and own 4 pairs of jeans... all4 pairs are muddy, poopy, and bleached at this point...
So yeah, CS and I saw each other Wed/Fri/Mon/Wed/Fri... life is good, real good. 
The last time I saw him was St Patty's Day nite... I called when I got off work.  He was hanging out with his friends and one guy answered the phone.  He said he was in the bathroom but he'd let him know I'd called.  About 1/2 an hour later, I sent him a text message asking if he wanted to hang out later that night.  ((see I figure it like this... I was calling practically every day, then I figured I'd annoy him to the point that he wouldn't want to call me back.  I was calling every other day.  Then he started calling me asking if I'd want to hang out on a particularly day.  I'd always say yeah, but I realized he was always doing the asking so I thought I'd ask too...))  He called me back an hour later, asking if I'd called.  His friend never told him but he saw my number on his "incoming" list.  He told me (asked me) to come over.  He said he was pretty tired but still wanted to see me.  I called him when I was halfway there to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep.  He laughed and said "No.  But hurry up and get here".  I called when I got there and he let me in.  We went in his room and sat on the bed to watch TV.  About 3 minutes later he was asleep     So I sat back and watched tv til I got tired and went to bed myself...  In the morning, he asked me... "what happened last night?  I remember letting you in and sitting down to watch TV... then it was morning."  I laughed and told him yeah, he'd fallen asleep not even 5 minutes after I'd gotten there... 
Still haven't heard anything from my interviews.  My friend from InfoRes has been out.  She sent me this text message a week ago that she had a death in her family... that was the last I heard from her.  I assume the family was local because she said she'd just seem him a few days before.  I sent her an email Friday but haven't heard back yet.  I hope all is well with her...  I think I will send an email to ATK as well... not sure what to say however.  I want them to know I'm still interested in the position but it's been almost a month since my interview... Feb21.  I last heard Mar3 that they had some internal applicants and were trying to make a decision... 2 1/2 weeks...
Well, it's getting dark and I'm getting cold.  Whenwill it start getting warm again?!?!?!  I've been wearing 4-7 shirts a day... I'm surprised I got sick... I was out on Wednesday but went back to work Thursday.  My throat is really raw.  I think eventually I will lose my voice... hope I don't get CS sick... don't need to go through that again...

Goodbye My Lover...

The song below... I was driving to "Cuddly Studly's" house... that was his nickname when we were together.  Any-whoozle, I was driving there listening to my new James Blunt CD... this song came on... and, oh my, it just says everything I felt for the 2 1/2 years we were together, up to and including the day we broke up.  Every once in a great while there are songs that say something you are feeling, but to put the whole experience into words would take multiple song lyrics.  This song just said it all... I was totally about to cry when I heard it.   

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow

to sum up everything I felt into one song was so amazing...
I had worried about how we would end... after the way my last relationship before had ended, i was dreading the inevitable.
I fell so helplessly in love that I was "blind" and was so very dependent on him.  I changed my life for him.
          
When we split, I still thought of him always and it was difficult for me to move one... BUT I imagined that he had forgotten about me, about us, "we" were not even a fraction of his memory...
I had thought of our future together... I could totally picture us someday, years away, marrying and having a family... he was different from my relationship before... he liked children and had goals and aspirations of having a family of his own someday. 
          
I was so attached to him... they say in relationships (or especially in marriage) the two become one.  When we split I felt like part of me was missing.  I felt hollow without him.

I'm glad that in time I was able to be my own person again.  Looking back now I can see how foolish I was, to become so attached to one person.  I wasn't a fool for falling in love, just a fool for giving up a part of myself in the process...

Howdy! Howdy! Howdy!

Okay... so the new job is fine so far... I like it.  But it's still new.    Ask me after a few months... when I'm tired, and it's hot, and I'm lazy!    My family doesn't know yet so let's see how long I can keep it a secret. 

I know now that I'll definitely be needing the extra money.  I might be moving.  Well, my sister might be moving.  And I can either move with her for an increase in rent... or I can stay where I'm at and take on a few roommates.  Either way, there are some adjustments I have to make. 

Like, if I stay where I'm at, I'll have to buy some new furniture & appliances because all I have is the stuff in my room.  And that sure as heck isn't enough to fill a house... let alone a kitchen & laundry room...

Or, if I move, I'll definitely have to get my butt in gear and get a new job... and sell some stuff.  My "new" room would be smaller, so that would require downsizing my "junk" a bit...

I'll figure that out.

I have another interview this Wednesday... I guess I did make a good impression.  I hope they are still as nice as they were before... not as strict the 2nd time around...

Today's Sesame Street is brought to you by the letter...

Okay, somewhat crazy week.  I woke up Wednesday morning to Sesame Street.  Did you know the letter of the day was "J"??? I did!!  I totally overslept longer than I wanted to.  Went to bed at 11... next thing I knew it was 8:38.  And Bert was announcing the letter "J"!!  I got up and got ready for work... emailed a few friends then left...  There was absolutely nothing to do at work which totally made the day lag ((doesn't it always??))  Went home and... oh, I forgot, I got a call Tuesday night from a company that saw my resume... so I called and made an appointment for an interview.  Then (in continuation)... went home and called my friend cuz she was excited for my interview.  We talked about the company (since she works there) and I planned to what I would wear, and set my alarm for 7am before heading off to bed. 

Thursday morning... alarm didn't go off!!! My niece called me at 7:04.  "Are you ready yet?" she asked.  Wow!   Good thing she called!  I jumped up and got ready, took her to school... parked in a parking lot (loitering!!) and put on my makeup.  Drove to the place... got there 1/2 an hour early.  So I sat in the parking lot (loitering?  again?) while the security guard watched me.  I got out and prepped myself for the interrogation.  It was actually fine.  I was very proud of myself... hope they were impressed.  I took the scenic route to work.  I was switching stations cuz, of course, there's nothing good on at 10am.  I stopped on Radio Disney... yeah, I know, but sometimes they have good music.  I don't remember what I was listening to, but I had the windows down blasting Radio Disney, when one song ends and the next begins.  It's Winnie the Pooh!  He's singing about the clouds!! OMG, I couldn't change that station fast enough.  I'm a single girl, in my 30's and I've been subjected to children's entertainment 2 days in a row!!

So back to KROQ (come on now, I gotta be normal) and drove to work. I sat in the parking lot (yes, again!)  I think I sat there for about an hour before I actually had to start working.  I called on another job (I have another interview tomorrow morning)  The work day was actually pretty busy.  Good thing, cuz I'm tired of being bored at work.  I even went to the gym and enjoyed it!!   The lady at this new job... it's a manual labor type job (2nd income) but I think I'd really enjoy doing it.  It's a kennel, a labrador breeding place.  So the lady told me, if I take the job, and I like it... I can "cancel my gym membership cuz it definitely gives you a workout".  We'll see about that.  So, if I took it, I'd work 7:30-11:00 there, then 12:00 - 9:00 at my other job -- M-F.  There might be weekends involved as well.  I'll be dead tired, but I won't be so broke...

So then:
I can afford to upgrade my cell phone that's dying by the second...
I can buy a new heater so my room isn't such a freezer...
I can pay all my bills so my (dying) cell phone doesn't ring at 6am...
          ...these are just a fraction of the dreams I hope to accomplish.

I still haven't booked that flight to NY for the end of the month... 
         ...where's that $300 airfare coming from???

edit: I took the job... I work 8-11am Tuesday and Thursday and 4-6pm Saturday.  It's fun, but tiring.  There's lots of cleaning and sanitizing.  Friday I got to work smelling & looking like a wet dog.  I showered in the gym locker room at work, but my hands permanently smelled like wet dog.  I don't know how many times that day I used hot soapy water, with hand sanitizer, with lotion.  I ended up smelling like a lavender, wet dog.  Yesterday wasn't so bad because it was dry weather, but my arms will start to look very big from walking 6 dogs once a week... not to mention walking my 65 lb hound 3x's a week...

And I have a second interview Wednesday with my friend's company... I kinda hope I get it, but then I'd totally have to change my hours with Theresa to "weekends only" and I don't know if she'll like that...

Motel 6 -- We'll keep the light on for you!

So, we (finally) got our room.  I reserved it before work yesterday.  I checked in on my lunch break (5:15), then put my things in the room and went back to work.  I called him when I got off work, to tell him I was going to the room.  He said he'd be there in about an hour. 

So I went and got all comfortable watching tv (that's my curse in any hotel room... watching the cable tv).  He called 45 minutes later that he was on his way, and what room#?   His friends had kidnapped him to the local bar so that's why he wasn't there right away.  He snuck away when the chance was right.  

We spent a wonderful (belated) birthday watching tv and talking and relaxing.  It was great.  Every moment I spend with him is wonderful.  I swear things weren't like this before.  Well, maybe in the beginning.  But then, after a while, we just hung out together, not even talking.  We were together because we were together.  Now?  We actually enjoy each other's company.  The moments are better. 

on 2*22*06

my guy (well, he's not "my" guy) was gonna come over last nite, but I forgot it was his best friend's birthday yesterday.  he said he go there for about an hour, then if he was okay to drive, he'd come over.  I didn't hear from him.  I hope he made the smart choice and went home. 

ugh.  today I go to the doctor.  I get my 24 hour monitor.  not looking forward to it.  I mean, I suppose I complained enough and that's why I'm getting it.  but, I have to figure out how to function with it.  I know.  that's stupid.  how will I work with it on?  how do I sleep with it on?  I mean, I know the doctor will explain what I can or can't do. 

my interview yesterday went quite well.  better than I expected, in fact.  supposedly they really like me.  my sister and her friend said they talked about me a lot.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

then, on 2*23*06

Okay.  I haven't died yet.  I had the monitor hooked up Wednesday morning, which consisted of a little brown box with 7 wires coming out of it.  Those 7 wires were hooked up to 7 round stickers that were attached to my sensitive skin on uncomfortable parts of my chest and stomach.  Then those 7 long wires were taped down to that same sensitive skin. 

When the nurse hooked up my monitor, at first it didn't work... it gave her an error message.  She joked that my heart had no beat.  Then she checked all the connections and it worked.  It does this trial test scan thing, showing my heart rate on the screen.  And every once in a while, it would go "wacko".  Kinda shocked her... but I couldn't feel a thing.  so I wonder, everything I have been feeling... what would those look like??

If I felt any heart flutters or pain, I was supposed to push the black button on the front, then write down on a piece of paper what I was doing at that moment.  I never pushed the button the whole day (I don't think)  I spent the whole day hoping I wouldn't accidentally bump the button, or lean on the button.  As the day wore on, I got used to the little brown box.  It felt more like a walk-man attached to my waist... not bad, I can handle this-- I thought.  About 4 hours later... I was losing my mind.  Every one of those 7 stickers was itching... I kept telling myself, it'll stop it'll stop... but it didn't.

Then that night, I lay in bed, on my back staring at the ceiling until I could no longer stand to stare... so I lay on my back, eyes closed, hoping and praying that the Sand-Man would find me and put me out of my misery...  He found me, but he had to make several trips to get me through the night. 

By 4:30 AM, I realized that no sleep was coming and I lay there, cold, staring at the ceiling once again.  8:00 AM came around ((finally)) and I sat up to attempt to slide out of bed.  At that moment I realized that the 3 pieces of tape, holding those 7 wires, were permanently (& painfully) attached to my skin.  I held on tight... grit my teeth... and climbed out of bed carefully.  I made the long 30 foot trek across the yard, to the house, to the bathroom and attempted to pull off the tape without pulling off my skin. 

I couldn't be happier when I got to the doctor's office.  I patiently waited my turn, so they could get the spider-like contraption off of me!!  Those 7 circles felt like that were permanently glued to my skin but I was so happy to get them off.  Then I went upstairs to the cardiologist... another wait in the waiting room, filling out forms, reading magazines... then it was my turn again.  I undressed (I'm starting to get used to being top-less around those nurses) & lay down on the bed-thing.  The she puts on 3 new round stickers... 3 new wires attached.  She put the ultrasound "wand" on my stomach  ((okay, isn't that supposed to be higher up??))  She told me to lie completely still and breathe normally.  So I did, she moved it around.  Then she says "There.  Okay."  What?  Was my heart missing?? 

Then she moves the wand to the top of my chest and asks me to breath in, hold it
...............................................................................................
okay, let go.  Then I turn on my side and she puts the wand in the middle of my chest and gets some readings... that was when it got weird.  A normal heart rate is anywhere from 60 bpm - 110 bpm.  My heart rate averages around 67-72 bmp.  But it doesn't stay there.  It fluctuates a lot... sometimes going to 84, then back down to 65, then up to 82 again, then down again, then up to 93, then down again to 64.  She asked if I could feel it... no.  ((I wonder.  When I do feel it, how high is that??)) She moved the wand to my left side, on my rib cage... she takes another reading, the same as before.  She said it's not cause for alarm since I still stay within the healthy range.  The doc will analyze that info and if anything more is needed they will let me know.

So I'm waiting for the MD to tell me the results of my Holter Monitor...
And I'm waiting for the cardiologist for the results of my echocardiogram...

Oh!  And my cardiologist?  He's the same guy my dad went to when I was in high school...15 years ago...

then on 2*26*06

So, my parents are gone ((yippee!)) 

Friday, after work... my guy and I were gonna get a hotel/motel room so we could spend time together without the bother of each other's families.  Neither know that we've been spending time together so it would break the calm and peace to explain it all.  He called me 2:30.  I called him 3:00.  He said to call back.  I called 3:30.  He asked about the hotel room idea, and I agreed.  He said he'd call at 6/7/8/9. 

I called him 8:30 when I got off work and left him a message that I was off already.  Then I called again at 9:15 that I hadn't gone home yet.  ((See, I knew my parents were already there and once I walked in the door, it would be very difficult to leave again... especially since I wouldn't be coming back until morning.))  He called me back about 6 minutes later that he had to work 4 am so he couldn't get the room.  =(  

So I went home...  I was up until midnight talking to my mom & dad since I haven't seen them since Christmas... a whole 2 months ago.  My brother and his family, and my other sister and her son came over on Saturday.  Plus I'd been up at 8 that morning for a hair cut after going to bed so late so I was worn out! 

Then my dad woke me at 9 this morning, pounding on my door.  I got up and dressed for church in about 20 minutes.   I think I didn't wake up until about 15 minutes after wegot home from mass... Now my parents are FINALLY gone.  Once they were out of the neighborhood, I took a 2 hour nap.  All that family-togetherness had me all worn out.