christmas stress

has there ever been a christmas that wasn't stressful?? i mean maybe as a child, but even then you're stressing that you did something wrong, and santa won't bring you presents, but might put coal in your stocking..

but as adults.. all bets are off and you're stressed beyond belief.. getting the right gift... getting the right gift, in time.. having the money, to get the right gift, in time.. and then there's the planning and travelling.. again, in time.. what about when you get there?? you're still stressed, even after you arrive..

last year, Ronnie and I stayed home. We had moved in together June the year before (so, 18 months before Christmas '09) and from that August things got progressively worse. ((ya see, we'd moved in together June 25th.. but I told my mom he moved in August 30th)) I couldn't call, email, text without getting a God-fearing lecture.. I LOVE God. ((why do people even put the fear of God into thought??))

I got the lecture that we are living in sin.. I got the lecture that I'm pleasing the devil, and once I get married the devil will sabotage my marriage.. I got the lecture that we should rent a 2-bedroom place.. I got every lecture, every kind of lecture you can imagine.

No matter what I called, texted, or emailed about.. that's the direction the conversation went.. half the time my true original question or concern was never answered.. no way was I going to try again!!

SO Ronnie and I stayed home.. yeah it was only my 2nd Christmas away from my family.. but I was trying to make a point.. and I really truly think I failed. I'm quite positive my mom thinks (and led everyone else to believe) that Ronnie wanted me to stay home. I think she was trying to put the blame on him rather than on herself.. and I don't think she knows she's ever done anything wrong - I mean, heck, she's perfect!

So this year, I emailed family to inquire on their travel plans, and to inquire on their Christmas wishes.. no response.. oh wait, they all said around Thanksgiving-time that "I don't plan that far ahead".. and my dad responded shortly thereafter that his Christmas wish was that he wanted a hug.

So Ronnie and I beat the traffic rush and drove up to Big Bear on Christmas Eve morning.. we arrived after 3 short hours.. then next was a 2-hour hike in the forest with Whinona, in the snow!! ..plus some target practice for me with his new..22 air-rifle :) Then we "bucked-up" and drove across the highway to my parents' house.. and that's where Ronnie stayed.. restricted to the downstairs of their 2-story, 4-bedroom house..

I went to church with my parents at 5:30 (actually 5:00 for the Christmas "concert" before mass) while Ronnie stayed home.. during the concert my dad "oh-so-politely" said that I had gotten wider - what's that you say? whiter? - no, wider.. yay dad, way to notice those 12+ lbs I'm already upset about.. I kindly said 'no, it's probably the winter jacket' =(

I got through mass with the priest's sermon about living the Catholic way and being prepared for Jesus' coming (have you sinned today??).. the music at communion was actually very beautiful.. the choir was preparing for communion so no instruments, just acapella singing, very beautiful.. then mass ended and we prepped for the 'happy' trip back home..

my mom had 3 complaints - the choir was horrible (no choir is as good as hers), they butchered Silent Night (the acapella communion song that was beautiful!).. never did hear her 3rd complaint.. my dad said Silent Night was very good and my mom exploded at him. I think she thought he was being sarcastic to start a fight (she always thinks he's picking a fight, but he never actually is) but he was being serious, and I agreed with him.. which was the wrong thing to do!!

I was so happy to get back to their house and check in with Ronnie.. he was happy in the quiet house (don't blame him one bit.. I totally envied him).. we had dinner, and watched a bit of tv (too much tv rots your brain, don'tcha know) then bedtime.. me upstairs in a very dark bedroom and too-tall Ronnie squeezed onto a too-short non-pull-out couch.. took me about 2 hours to fall asleep, and I woke up 2 hours earlier than planned..

next morning, got up just as my parents were shuffling all the gifts under the Christmas tree. my mom had already informed me that breakfast would be around 10:30 after they got home from church.. so they left at 8:00 for Christmas concert before 9:00 mass.. 10:30 came around, they weren't even home yet. they got home at 10:45, with a friend, and my dad took the solidly-frozen omelet out of the freezer.

that went into the oven and Ronnie and I watched more tv.. omelet came out of the oven at 11:30 and I grabbed a plate of food.. getting ready to walk out of the kitchen and my dad nudged my shoulder *check if it's warm enough* - nope, ice cold still.. so into the microwave it goes.. that 10:30 breakfast was at 12:00..

needless to say, Ronnie and I left at 1:00.. my mom was mad.. I was mad.. he was mad (he actually had to come and rescue me from my screaming/yelling mother)..

..and I didn't get to see my brother and my sisters..
like I said..
..Christmas stress..

next year.. I think we'll stay home (..again..)